Oh how I cringed and screamed when I first saw myself on the screen.
"OH MY GOD!"
Is that what I really look like?
Thankfully, I didn't make too much of a fool of myself. During the interview I forced myself to speak slowly and clearly because when I get excited, I have a strong tendency to stumble over my words. Like my brain works faster than my mouth can handle.
Of the 60 minutes or so that I spent talking with the filming crew, my portion got culled down to about 15 seconds. I talked about the reason why I took my road trip and how my friends and family were able to follow me through my blog, Twitter and Facebook. Then they cut to my enlightening lunch in Joshua Tree among the rock formations.
When I was being interviewed, I was asked what kinds of feelings did I experience while I was in the parks. My answer was no where as near profound and I would have liked it to be. I think I was worried about taking time to formulate a real thought because I knew they were running out of tape, so I blurted out the first thing that popped into my head.
But now that I've taken the time to think about it, this is what I would have said:
Being out in nature, especially in Arches, something primal happens to you. In the stillness and silence of the red rock canyon you feel incredibly small. In the millions of years it took for these canyons and arches, my life is just one fleeting wink of an eye. But my existence is significant. Standing there I felt a connection to all those who stood here before me in awe of the grandeur of nature. I wondered if everyone was able to experience this 'knowing', that there is something bigger than all of us that binds us together, if this world would be a different place.
This idea of connectedness is something stirring and growing inside me. I know I will have to explore this further and find an outlet to express it. The idea has been there for a while slowly forming until it became something I am finally aware of.
Maybe it is enlightenment. Maybe it will point me in the direction I've been looking for.
My spiritual GPS.
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